The Kentucky Derby, the crown jewel of horse racing at Churchill Downs, looms next weekend. It’s not just a race, but an event with all the pomp and circumstance of Bob Baffert’s hair. Dubbed the “Fastest Two Minutes in Sports,” the world will be reminded, if briefly, that humans are not, in fact, the greatest athletes in the world.

We are sort of unique in how we celebrate ourselves. This is particularly true in the realm of athletics. A brief stint on any social media platform will provide the reader with debates about who is the Greatest of All Time (G.O.A.T.), or the “GOAT” athlete in a sport or overall. These debates will center on Michael Jordan, Babe Ruth, Pelé, Lionel Messi, Mohammad Ali, Wayne Gretzky, Michael Phelps, Edoardo Mangiarotti, Simone Biles, you get the idea. 

Of course, this belies the fact that, outside of distance running (which is a real feat), humans are pretty pathetic athletes compared to our mammalian brothers and sisters. They engage in feats of athleticism as a matter of course. Their trophy? Living another day. I grew up on a farm with all sorts of animals. If we stood an NFL lineman beside a cow (not a bull, mind you), and she experienced a sudden itch and swung her head, the lineman would fly in the air. But you don’t have to imagine that. Think about how hard it is to give a small animal medicine or to hold your cat down for an examination at the vet’s office. Animal athleticism is not human athleticism. We aren’t much without our gadgets, and debating the GOAT athlete among humans is a bit like sea slugs sitting around pontificating over which of them will win the Nobel Prize.

As a young kid, I would hear my father and grandfather tell what seemed to me like legends of a horse so fast that it could hardly be believed. A horse so fast that attempts to keep pace with it broke, physically and mentally, other horses. The name of the cocktail below gives it away. I’m talking, of course, about Secretariat. In the annals of the greatest athletes, it is usually only Man ‘O War (who also carried the cocktail’s moniker) who even enters the conversation when discussing Secretariat. Man ‘O War was the more dominant in race wins, but Secretariat is likely the fastest known horse among those racing in the Triple Crown, setting course records at all three races in 1973. The debate between Secretariat and Man ‘O War also holds a deeper animosity — Secretariat was a Virginian and Man ‘O War was a Kentuckian. 

If you watch the videos below, and you should, you’ll see a horse that looks a whole lot like a bullet train, moving so fast that, in all three races, it utterly shocks and alarms the race caller. At the Derby, he ran each quarter mile faster than the previous. He shattered the record at the Belmont Stakes by more than two whole seconds. The G.O.A.T. indeed, and he deserves a drink this week as we prep for one of the greatest spectacles in sports.

Of course, if you’re watching the Derby, you’ll see lots of roses (see the title for this post), guys in spiffy suits, and ladies in fantastical hats. And against the gleaming white background of Bob Baffert’s hair, you’ll see lots of emerald plumes poking out of silver or pewter cups. The drink of the Kentucky Derby is, of course, the Mint Julep. The drink is a simple mixture of muddled sugar and mint to which we add bourbon and stir. And this simple process will assuredly make you a great Mint Julep. But again, this is the fastest two minutes in sports. We’re gonna batch this Mint Julep so we can retrieve the bottle from the freezer, pour straight into our ice-filled glass, add our emerald plume of mint, and not miss the race or the fleeting time with friends and loved ones. We are also going to wash this Mint Julep with coconut oil in hopes it’ll give the drink a coconut background and smoothness worthy of Secretariat’s gait. We’ll make the regular Mint Julep along the way.

Finally, you don't need to make a whole bottle. There's a recipe for a 2–3 drink batch in the Procedure section below. Or, you can split one bottle of bourbon and make all three drinks.

Let’s tip one. 

The general specification above could yield one of three distinct drinks, or you can split a bottle of bourbon into three 250 mL portions and have all three ready for your Derby. Just be sure to scale your other ingredients accordingly if you do.  72 grams of the sugar you choose, 1 mL of Saline, 40 mL of filtered water, 1 container of mint, and 78 grams of coconut oil if you choose to wash the bourbon. Using regular sugar (e.g., Florida Crystals) and leaving the coconut oil aside, following the below will make a batch of classic Mint Juleps — about 1L. Using coconut sugar instead, and leaving the coconut oil aside again, you’ll make a darker, richer Mint Julep with a distinctly sweet, dark-sugar coconut flavor (see below, left). And finally, using regular sugar and following the coconut oil washing process below, you’ll make a Mint Julep with a subtle coconut background note (without coconut sweetness), and a smooth, rounded, silky mouthfeel (see below, right). Pick your poison and “We’re off!” 

Start by making an oleo saccharum from the mint and whichever sugar you choose. Take the mint, trimming off all the brown, oxidized bits and chiffonade. This produces more surface area for the sugar and mint oil (what we’re after, just like when we zest citrus for punch - see the Garrick Club Punch). Add the sugar to the mint using a Ziplock bag, squeezing as much air out as possible, then seal it. Then, gently massage the ingredients with your fingertips. Place this bag in the refrigerator and leave it overnight or 12 hours or so. I used a food vacuum sealer for this, whose pressure will also coax more of the mint’s oils out, but it’s not absolutely necessary.

You will then add the bourbon directly to your bag, slosh it around to dissolve the sugars, and place it in your freezer for 24 hours. This will allow the bourbon to dissolve most of the sugar and mingle with the mint oil. After this freezer rest, strain your Mint Julep through a dampened coffee filter. Dampening helps the filter avoid extracting a tax on your drink. Once you’ve done this, add the Mint Julep to a bottle along with the saline and filtered water and gently shake to combine. Place this back in your freezer to have ready for drinking. 

Using this process for both the sugar and coconut sugar will give you versions of those Mint Juleps. If you’d like to try the coconut oil-washed version, after filtering your Mint Julep, you’ll melt some unrefined coconut oil and add it to a jar with your Mint Julep. Leave this for a couple of hours to a day, shaking gently from time to time. Don’t shake vigorously, or you’ll emulsify the coconut oil, and it’ll take longer to remove. Once the Mint Julep has spent time with the coconut oil, place the mixture in the freezer overnight or for several hours. The cold will solidify the coconut oil, allowing you to filter the drink again with a dampened filter.

A couple of considerations. I don’t recommend using both coconut sugar and coconut oil, or you’ll end up with a coconut bomb of flavor. Second, don’t try to combine the coconut wash and mint oleo steps. The fat in the coconut will hinder the tincturing process with the mint oils and bourbon. Finally, note that we use less filtered water here to mimic the usual dilution from stirring. This is because Mint Juleps are served over crushed ice. The smaller ice will melt more quickly, so we need to account for this beforehand. If you divide your bottle of bourbon, figure 15–20% dilution for this (for context, I usually use about 23% dilution).

When you are ready to serve, fill your glass with crushed or shard ice, or even pebble ice. Retrieve your bottle and pour as much Julep as you like. Garnish with a big plume of mint. Enjoy!

I’ve built in the options to the post above. Beyond that, you should be a bourbon drinker and obviously like mint to enjoy this drink. There is a certain brand of bourbon with a little horse atop the bottle as a nod to Kentucky’s horse racing roots. Woodford Reserve is the official bourbon of the Kentucky Derby. If you’re inclined, their Woodford Reserve Double Oaked is fantastic in this drink. The super spicy bourbons may be a bit out of place here, competing with the mint. If I wanted to do this with an easy-to-find bourbon that’s (for bourbon) at a good price point, I’d use Maker’s Mark. Some will include Angostura bitters in their Julep. That’s certainly a choice.

I’ve included Secretariat’s races below. The commentary, and most especially, the background music, are epic. Secretariat was lightning-fast with an easy gait. Like a Corvette in sixth gear. 

“Secretariat is 4th and moving up on the outside.”

This video was age-restricted for reasons that are undoubtedly idiotic. But, look for Caleb Welde’s great video of the Derby set to epic music here. Just double-click to interact with the videos below. You won’t regret it, and you’ll never debate who is the G.O.A.T. again. 

This blog is, as ever, an opinionated take on drinks.

 

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