As you can tell in this week’s post, I was attempting a world record for hyphenated words — a result of attempting titles that are a bit more descriptive and inviting. Today, we take a simple but delicious O.G. cocktail spec and make it fit for a hot summer and the places we wish we were. The motivator is a great friend of mine.

I first met Tom when I moved back to my home state. Tom is a Marine Corps veteran, public servant, and a huge fan of fishing and golf, especially in tropical places, and ends his day-to-day with a love of finer rums. After being in town for a bit, my wife and I happened into a bar for a couple of beers to end a stressful work week. My days often enough find me in a suit; I prefer three-piece suits (there’s strategy in it, but that’s for another time). On this occasion, I went to this establishment before going home to change, showing up in one of my best suits. 

We sat in the back across from the restrooms, and as the bar began to fill for the weekend, I caught a young man’s attention. He’d seemingly had a bad day, or was the type to have a bad day every day. He began to lambast me for showing up at the bar dressed in a suit; maybe I was overdressed for this bar. I tried to ignore this for a while, but to no avail. 

A line formed near one of the restrooms, and Tom was joining its end and overheard my exchange with the young man. He calmly strolled over and asked, “Hey Bud, is everything okay? Is there a problem?” The young man availed Tom of his dissatisfaction and annoyance that I would be there in a suit at that bar, to which Tom calmly replied, “He’s got a job. Maybe you should try it sometime.”

The young man was stunned. Lacking any credible response or refutation of Tom’s implicit assertion and insult, he left through the back door of the bar. I never saw him again. Tom and I have been great friends since.

Tom is from the town of Romney in Hampshire County, West Virginia. It’s West Virginia’s oldest town (tied, I think, with Shepherdstown, but someone can correct me), established in 1762. It’s a rural, agrarian place even though it falls within the Winchester, VA, metropolitan area. One of the special things about Romney is its orchards. They include apples and cherries, but what is truly special are the peaches. A Romney peach is otherworldly good, and I don’t frankly think I’ve tasted a Georgia peach (at least what can be bought) that comes anywhere close to a Romney peach in distinctive flavor and juiciness. If you’re near Romney, or passing through West Virginia, it’s a real treat, and you should definitely stop at the many roadside stands that will advertise them. They’re great for eating out of hand, for desserts, and to make wine, cider, and brandy.

So this week, we’re going to build a drink in honor of my friend for which the Romney peach is a perfect companion. My goals for the drink were to make a Tiki old-fashioned that brought all the best flavors of rum’s diverse profile to a simple drink. In doing so, I will be introducing something I have worked on for a little over a year. 

I love cocktails, but when I’m making them regularly, I’m sometimes cautious that I’m getting a bit too much sugar in my diet. In the cocktail world, this will mainly come from syrups and liqueurs. If one could craft a sugar-free syrup, an Old-Fashioned is a simple cocktail that lets you eliminate nearly all the sugar in your drink. I tend not to like most sugar substitutes derived from wood alcohol or from myriad substances with “-ose” at the end. They just don’t taste good. So below, a year’s worth of experimenting has brought me to a Monk Fruit Syrup (with a bit of Stevia). Both products are natural, and the formulation below will get you very close to a simple syrup; even Tom approves. 

And as a small note, my new boss has expressed his disappointment that I’ve had no Old-Fashioned on the blog as of yet. So Clayton, here’s to the first of many such formulations. Settle in as we make Tom’s Tiki Triple, sugar-free, and packed with the best flavor range of rum.

Heat the water until just under boiling. Add all the ingredients sans xanthan gum and Vodka. Whisk briskly to ensure they dissolve evenly, with no clumps. Add the xanthan gum and whisk briskly to dissolve and incorporate. Cool completely. Add the vodka and whisk to combine. Bottle and refrigerate. This will give you about 2 cups. This mixture will keep much longer than you would think in the refrigerator, sealed. Store in a condiment squeeze bottle for ease of use. And the vodka adds a bit of extra protection, but is not strictly necessary.

I worked on this sugarless syrup for quite a while, in various versions, and settled on this one. To me, it approaches the sweetness, character, and texture of simple syrup. I tried Monk Fruit only, and it lacked that acute sweetness that comes with pure cane sugar. Together, they get to that cane profile, if just slightly fruity. Each time I made this without the acid, there seemed to be just a touch of edginess missing. Also, to replicate this syrup as I taste it, it is critical to use ONLY 100% pure Monk Fruit and Stevia Extracts — that means no erythritol, sucrose, allulose, Truvia, or any versions with something ending in “ose” added to them. For me, the only place I could find these versions was online, especially from the Death Star. They are expensive, but will last an eternity for these purposes. Using those other versions, which are mostly derived from wood alcohols, will not only change the taste but also the texture, as alcohol contributes to a thin mouthfeel.

Simple syrup doesn’t have an acid profile to speak of, but adding citric acid here really keeps the resulting syrup from being dull, brightening it just enough. I suspect that that bit of acid really balances the Monk Fruit, which does add a very slight fruitiness that you don’t get in simple syrup. Finally, simple syrup doesn’t just add sweetness to balance the acidity in a cocktail; it also adds texture. This texture itself balances what would otherwise be a thin-feeling drink, given the citrus and spirit — both of which thin the mouthfeel. The vodka is for storage. You can certainly leave it out in non-cocktail applications or for a nice mocktail.

Thoroughly chill your glass. Once chilled, retrieve it and you can build this in the glass. Add all the ingredients sans garnish. Then add the largest berg of ice that you can muster — we want the dilution to help us here as we work towards the bottom of the glass. It’s a potent formulation befitting a Tiki Old-Fashioned.

To Brûlée the peach, simply add some Turbinado or Demerara sugar to about a quarter of a peach (I like a nice big slice here). Then hit the sugar and peach with your culinary torch. Alternatively, you could grill the peach, then add it — just do all this beforehand so your drink doesn’t die in its glass. The peach is a nice touch and is in season in Appalachia in July. You have spice with the Spanish-style rum, fruity funk from the Jamaican-style rum, and the brown sugar note from the Demerara rum working well with the Brûléed peach. Garnish and enjoy!

Glass: Rocks glass 

Obviously, one doesn’t need to “Tikify” this rum old-fashioned. If you love Spanish- or Jamaican-style rums enough, use only them. I wanted spice (Spanish), ripe fruit (Jamaican), and brown sugar (Demerara). So there was reason in my madness. I would say that if I were using just one rum in this drink, it’d be Pusser’s Navy Strength, which hits almost all those notes except for the heavier hogo or funk in Jamaican rum (coming from esters). I used Flor de Caña aged rum for the Spanish-style (it’s from Nicaragua) and Appleton for the Jamaican Rum. I used Hamilton 151 for the Demerara. Obviously, don’t use it for all the rum unless you are ready to nap for 3 days, which brings up another option. You can easily cut the booze here by reducing the Demerara 151 to ¼ oz. You could reduce further by using a black rum, such as Meyer’s. It won’t be quite the same, but it will give the drink the color and richness you’re looking for.

As for the syrup we put so much work into. You can also reduce it to ¼ oz for a more bracing experience. I would strongly suggest you also reduce the Demerara if doing so. And obviously, you need to use a sugar-free syrup in this drink. Plain simple syrup or rich syrup, in smaller amounts, will work just fine in the proportions you prefer.

Those Tiki bitters can be hard to find. If you can’t procure them, regular old Angostura or Old-fashioned bitters work really well in almost all Tiki-style drinks. Given the drink’s profile, cardamom bitters (Boker’s-style) would also work well. If you can get hold of obscure ingredients, El Guapo bitters are fantastic in this drink — the Guava really sets off the Jamaican rum. 

Finally, substituting the syrup for Allspice dram will take this well into fall. And, yes, I know there is sugar on the peach. For god’s sake, just add some mint or a lime wheel as garnish. A man has to have a few dalliances. See you next week at the Appalachian Speakeasy.

This blog is, as ever, an opinionated take on drinks.